“I think how you handled that situation was just perfect!”

 

It’s wonderful to hear how great I am. Compliments are so nice. This employee was always telling me how great that idea was or how that decision I made was the right one. He never disagreed with me or asked me questions about anything I did. When I realized that all he was giving me was positive feedback, I knew I had fallen for the seductiveness of positive feedback and compliments.

Positive feedback and compliments are seductive because there is a temptation as a manager to believe that everything I do is perfect. This can lull me into becoming a complacent manager and complacency only leads to bad outcomes. I’m human; I make mistakes. If all I hear is how great I am, I may make more mistakes instead of less because I’m not listening, not aware of bad decisions, and / or entirely missing critical data.

I’m not saying employees try to manipulate by giving me compliments. Maybe sometimes that’s true, but many times the person is just being nice. They want to hear positive feedback so they give me positive feedback. What I want is balanced feedback. I want employees to question, offer other alternatives, and yes, challenge me. I’m comfortable enough that being challenged doesn’t threaten me. It’s a good place to be.

I like compliments, however I love questions that allow me to consider things I wouldn’t otherwise. I love to see employees coming up with even better solutions or ideas than I have because they are comfortable with challenging me.

When I receive compliments at work, I very carefully consider the compliment. Sometimes, it is deserved. But other times, that compliment raises a suspicion that I might need to re-evaluate what I’ve done.