Self-Awareness
Someone once asked me what was the most important skill or quality for a manager to have. My answer: self-awareness. Many people would say self-awareness is not a skill or a quality – I think it is.
Self-awareness: Conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.*
Knowing myself, how I react to situations, what motivates me, what I want – all of these impact how I act as a manager. I learned this the hard way.
One of my managers sent me to a class on personality styles. At the time, I couldn’t figure out why he thought this important, but I’m so glad he did. We took a personality assessment before the class and the first thing the instructor did was divide the room into 4 squares or quadrants. Then he had us take a chair and sit in our quadrants. I clearly remember mine, which was driver. I was the only person in that quadrant.
We were given a situation and then asked how we would respond. When I answered, there was silence. None of them liked my answer. They thought it disregarded how they felt. Being a driver personality type, it really never occurred to me they would see my answer differently than what I intended. But they did. I started thinking, “Hey wait!; I’m the obnoxious person in the room.” I always thought someone else was the obnoxious person in the room but, nope, it was me.
That’s when I found out that driver personality types tend to run over people and usually don’t even have a clue that they’ve done so. Drivers think they are doing the right things for the team, even when it may not be the right thing for the team. Wow! Everyone isn’t like me! They have different personality styles which means they respond differently to situations than I do. Which means they might think I’m an obnoxious person. That was sobering.
Knowing my personality style helps me lead more effectively.
This made me aware that I need to know myself. I need to understand my character and my qualities, as it impacts those around me. This class helped me to understand that I have blind spots, my strengths can be my weaknesses, and that I need to understand other personality styles if I am to be good manager.
I’m still learning. I miss cues. I’m still a driver personality type. I can still be an obnoxious person. But at least I know it and work hard to put myself in someone else’s shoes, into someone else’s personality style. The bottom line is being self-aware helps me be a better leader.
* New Oxford American Dictionary