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Category: Self-Awareness

Talk Positive Instead of Negative

Talk Positive Instead of Negative

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“You always talk about how great your team is,” my manager said to me, “and it’s not good that you do.”

Talk about confusing. I didn’t know how to reply to that one. I do know my teams’ weaknesses and strengths. I work with them on the weaknesses. So why would I tell my peers and my manager about the weaknesses all the time? Why wouldn’t I instead talk about the strengths, the good stuff, the positive stuff about my teams?

Being very confused about this feedback from my manager, I asked people I’ve worked with at other companies why talking positively about my team to peers and other teams is a problem. They told me it sounded like I thought my teams were better than everyone else’s. “I never said that to anyone,” was my reply. Their reply, “Well, it’s implied since you always talk positively about your teams.”

This is crazy. Or maybe dysfunctional is a better word.

People talk. When I talk about my teams’ strengths to those outside of my team, eventually, those comments get back to them. When I share negative things about my teams to others outside of my team, those negative comments also get back to them. Now what is more inspiring to you; knowing the leader of your organization is saying positive things about your organization – or negative things?

 

I gotta go with positive.

 

If there are issues preventing the team from delivering, yes, I will share that circumstance with my manager AND I’ll also share what I’m doing to fix those issues. I’ve replaced management staff and eliminated positions to fix problems within my teams; I don’t hide from the negative aspects of my team members.

I simply see no reason to only talk about the negatives and not the positives when it comes to my teams especially when I know that what I say will eventually filter down to my team members. I prefer they hear motivating comments than negative, de-motivating comments. I’ll go with positive. In the long run, the team will perform better and problems will be resolved more easily.

Which would you go with? Positive or negative?

Managing Mindfully

Managing Mindfully

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When I became a manager for the first time, I had no training in management. It was like magic – poof! You are now a manager. Go forth and manage.

So I did. I made mistakes. I bumbled around. I learned. I took classes and got feedback. Let me just say the early feedback wasn’t great. I realized I needed to spend time on my management skills and be mindful of how I managed. So I worked on my blind spots and strengthened my communication skills.

The key to all this management and leadership stuff?AdobeStock_81770478

It takes dedication and work to be a good manager and leader. And good managers never stop learning. On this site I share what I’ve learned about leadership and management – both as someone being managed by someone else and as a leader and manager.

 

Don’t come to me with problems; Come to me with answers!

Don’t come to me with problems; Come to me with answers!

Early in my career, I walked into my manager’s office and preceded to tell him how the approach we were taking for a software problem was the wrong one. I elaborated on how wrong it was – talking for almost 10 minutes, I laid out all my reasons.

Rich sat quietly and listened. I finally completed my analysis of why the solution was wrong and looked at him expectantly.

He said, “What do you suggest we do?”

I hadn’t thought about that. I was too busy thinking of how wrong the solution was, so I had to say, “I don’t know.”

He very evenly replied, “Don’t you ever come to me with a problem without a solution. Come back when you have a solution.”

Don’t just point out problems.

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It was like a bucket of cold water hit me in the face. I slunk out of his office and back to my desk and when I was done feeling like a complete idiot, I began thinking about alternative options. Then I took some of my ideas to the lead engineer on the team and we sat around brainstorming and discussing options and alternatives. We worked on it until we came up with a better solution that we both felt good about. Then we took that idea back to Rich and had a much better conversation.

Thankfully, this happened early on in my career because it was the best thing any manager has ever said to me. Since that time many years ago, I do my best to never present my boss problems without solutions.

After all, it’s not my manager’s job to solve all of the problems, now is it? That’s why they have me.

When Helping Is Not Helpful: Making Assumptions

When Helping Is Not Helpful: Making Assumptions

As a newly minted first line manager, I was eager to help my team. As I met with each person on the team, each one explained what he or she was working on. I asked a series of questions. Those questions were usually asked with the unspoken assumption that the employee hadn’t done something or considered something important in doing their job. After all, I was helping!

In one of these meetings, an employee said to me, “You know, it would be much more productive if you asked me if I did those things already instead of assuming I haven’t.” Oh. She didn’t say, ‘trust me to do those things,’ but that’s what I heard. I’ve always wanted my employees to trust me and here I was – not trusting them to do their jobs.

 Never make assumptions.

At some point in our careers, we all enjoy (not!) the manager that doesn’t trust his staff. You know the one. The one who assumes you haven’t done the simple things already and instead tells you to do them never asking if you already have.

Here I was, being that manager. Argh.assumptions

I didn’t think I was being an assuming type of manager. I really believed it was helpful to ask those questions. I still slip up every now and then and ask assuming questions. Sometimes I catch myself and respond with, “But I know you probably already considered that, right?” It’s how I try to recover from making assumptions. Why take the time to recover? Because making assumptions can damage the relationship I have with my employee.

So when talking to your employees remember what it feels like to have your manager make assumptions about you. Holding that thought in place, ask your employee what has already been considered or done. This is so much more respectful of your employees and you might end up very surprised by their answers.

The Hard Truth: Not all Your Ideas are Great

The Hard Truth: Not all Your Ideas are Great

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At a staff meeting, I very enthusiastically shared my great idea to improve productivity. It was such a great idea! I divvied up responsibilities to implement this great idea and left the meeting thinking how brilliant I was. I had recently been promoted to a director level position and I was eager to show what I could do.

Now, there are lots of ways to improve productivity. I had ideas, sure. But I failed to realize that my managers and their team members might have some input too. Nope. I charged ahead with my “great” idea. I didn’t pause to ask for feedback because I was so sure it was such a great idea.

A few days later, after investigating how to implement my great idea, one of my managers came into my office, shut the door and started questioning me about my great idea. I found this irritating. She was questioning me about my obviously great idea! 

 Maybe my idea wasn’t so great.

She kept asking what outcome I expected and how that outcome could be achieved if we implemented my great idea. At that point, I paused and looked at her. It finally struck me that my great idea might be a bad idea. I

idea-badrealized to really manage a successful team, I had to be willing to hear from my employees that what I thought was a brilliantly great idea – might not be so brilliant. That’s tough especially if I’m really attached to the idea and really do believe it is brilliant.

This manager then went on to propose another way to improve productivity and how it could be implemented and tracked. Her proposal was a better proposal than mine. I had a choice: refuse her proposal and continue with my great idea or go with her proposal. If I continued with my great idea, that I now knew had some serious downsides, this would signal to her and the entire organization that I was unwilling to consider other people’s ideas. This action could result in closing down creativity and innovation. Or, I could swallow my pride and choose a better idea than mine.

I told her I would think about her proposal and get back to her. I thought through the two proposals long and hard; clearly her proposal was a better one than mine. I decided to go with her proposal. What I didn’t realize at the time was my decision not only gave folks the freedom to propose new ideas but it also told them I trusted them.

Since that time, I’ve proposed new things and my team members have proposed new things. By making it a reciprocal conversation with lots of back and forth, I get buy-in and signal to the team that I respect and trust their input. I’m not saying I don’t at times decline their proposals. I do. But only after listening and weighing the pros and cons of each proposal. In this way, the door to creativity and innovation is left wide open.